Why didn’t they tell me? I thought I was close enough and important enough to know. These are the questions I used to ask when I tried to understand why some people didn’t even tell the ones they were close to the trouble they were going through. But after going through some challenges of my own, I got a better understanding on why people suffer in silence or don’t disclose to even close ones what’s going on with them.
My biggest understanding came in the area of illnesses. Sometimes one may feel sick a day or so and if asked how they are feeling, they may respond OK. This could be because they know what they have is not serious and they’ll be better in a day or so. Therefore, it’s no need to elaborate. But what about an illness that may last a lifetime? Still, one may not say anything because; one, it’s not life threatening. Two, and often, they don’t want close ones to worry or be stressed out about it; and three, they feel there are more important things to pray about and others to focus attention on.
The second area I got a better understanding of was finance. The pandemic really hurt a lot of people financially. Yet, some were reluctant to ask for help because they were embarrassed. Especially if they have always been in a position to pay their bills.
The third area I got a better understanding of was loneliness. The pandemic cut off a lot of social activity. On top of that, many lost friends and companions and now in the later years find themselves all alone. As the opportunities to socialize are limited. They avoid conversations about others getting together for holidays and special occasions as the know they are likely to be alone. Finally, there’s the fear that these deeply personal matters will end up being told to others who really shouldn’t be told.
The Bible says there is nothing hidden that should not be revealed 1. So, at the right time folks will tell or reach out for help about their plight.2 The important thing I learned was not to be upset with them for not saying anything. As I learned, it is not because of you, it’s just their personal choice.
Scripture references:
1 Luke 8:17 For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.
2 Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
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